We all have days in which no mater how hard we try we can not motivate ourselves enough to turn off the TV and do something; my most recent of those days started several months ago. I have found a love in photography that I have failed to find in any other activity, yet despite that I have barely touched my camera since November. I’ve gotten it out a few times. I even did a little hike in the Mark Twain National Forest last week and snapped a some photos. Even without getting some fresh photos, I have hundreds of photos on my computer that need to be gone through, weeded out, processed, and shared with the world. Even the cries of those photos have been neglected in the face of my lack of motivation.
A quick search in Google tells me I’m experiencing self-deprivation (no need to worry, it’s not terminal). Dr. Google says that self-deprivation occurs when an individual feels unworthy of happiness. The mildest form could be something as simple as never buying gifts for oneself, while the most dangerous form could include self-harm.
Whether or not you or I take the word of the internet as gospel, the truth is that most of us at some point in our lives experience times when we don’t much like ourselves. If not than you are either very secure with yourself, or you have more wrong with your head than I do.
We are all human, and part of being human is making mistakes. Most of those mistakes fall under the same category as forgetting to grab milk before going home. Very few of those mistakes are actually life altering. The problem arises when we make, as we see it, one too many mistakes for anybody else to see us as valuable. We place upon ourselves the guilt and anger we believe we deserve. Sometimes that belief is founded on the attitudes of our closes family and friends. If we are treated like dirt we’re going to feel like dirt.
I would like to make one thing very clear
You are not dirt!
The truth is that you were created by a God who would have created every star in the sky just for you. You see, no mater how much other people may hate you, or how much you hate yourself, there is no length Jehovah will not go to let you know that you are loved. Save taking away your agency, your right to choose, or compromising His law, there is nothing He will not do to get you back into his presence.
The truth is that He needs You just as much as You need Him.